SOC Sunday: Reinventing myself

While I realize I don't get to participate in stream of consciousness each week, I've enjoyed reading and finding new friends through this meme.

However, I realize things change and I truly get it.

5 minutes, no editing, in the raw blogging.

It's no secret I've struggled with the fact that the teaching market has not been the nicest to get hired into. It was a sucker punch to my ego and perfect dream when I wasn't hired full time out of college. I mean, that was my plan.

Things change though

I learned how to substitute in all grade levels and how to deal with various situations. I fell in love with all grades and realized how I had a perception that was guarded by my comfort level.

Once I got out of my own comfort level, I started feeling more and more at peace. I took a part time job building a children's ministry, with a church, on June 3rd. I have my resume every where as have I applied too. It's a guessing game though.

How I've reinvented myself

I never thought I'd be on a different path than what I had desired and planned since I was a child but I am so glad I let my comfort zone spread and have gotten a few nibbles here and there.

For now, I will keep my head up, heart open, and eyes on my dream of teaching someday and somewhere.

Hosted by All things Fadra. Great and FREE therapy in the making. ;)

Happy Sunday

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Stream of Consciousness: Food allergies & formulation changes

I have had it with companies and changing formulations on products. It drives me bonkers. Why am I getting so upset? Living with food allergies means label reading, calling companies, and finding something that is safe for me to eat. Now there are nice treats out there that cater to the allergy community and I am very grateful. However, it requires several phone calls and emails to check on that.

When you live with multiple, life threatening food allergies (soy (all 3 forms), wheat/gluten, tree nuts, peanuts, fish, shellfish, modified food starch), it is hard to find a company that suits your needs and is allergy aware. Case in point...read a food label. Find out what's in your food! You see that milk and soy may be present? For me, that soy could induce anaphylaxis. I am serious! Soy is one of my hardest allergens as it is in so much these days.

I am not trying to get anyone all riled up however I am tired of companies saying they are 100% of something and then have soy lecithin in a "100% whey protein" powder. Do you know how hard it has been to find a company that is allergy aware, free of my allergens, including soy lecithin (which some soy allergics can tolerate), and tastes good? It's hard! I recently lost my safe protein powder and now I am trying to stock up on the left safe versions out there before every store has the new formulation that contains soy lecithin.

Okay...off my soap box for the day! Thanks for listening!

Five minutes-that is the mission. No editing; just a raw post in the works. Hosted by All things Fadra. Great and FREE therapy in the making. ;)

Stream of Consciousness: not to my prime

Brain dump time-set the clock for five minutes, no editing, and go!

Optional writing prompt today: Have you reached the prime of your life? What do you want to be your legacy?

I hope, okay dream, that my prime is not right now. I am a recent college graduate, last May, and am just getting my feet wet in this society and in the working world. My HOPE is to have a full time teaching job, whether in regular or special education, next school year. I also hope to have the opportunity to help more students with special needs before that supposed "prime" is up.

I want to be remembered as someone who took more than five minutes to help students with special needs. I want to change how "old-school" educators think of students with special needs. Whether it be Dyslexia to Autism, I want students to embrace what they have and be successful post-education. I want to equip students with skills they need to be successful. I want to help them see themselves as a student with something with potential. We all learn differently, so what?!?! Who cares?!?!

It's about what you give and not hide behind a diagnosis. I will openly say I have Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Sensory Processing Disorder, and more. However, that's not written on my forehead. Does it mean I learn differently? Yes! However, it doesn't mean I hide behind that in the real world. I want to give my students ways to deal with their diagnosis and then succeed in the world. That is my hope in my prime (whenever it gets here).

(To view more SOC Sunday posts, click on the button above)

SOC Sunday-Never forgetting 9/11/01

Ten years ago today, and at this very moment, the twin towers had been destroyed by terrorists who hated America.

Do I think that the terrorists knew what day they were going to attack America? Absolutely! They knew exactly what day they were going to attack America and knew what the date meant-9/11.

9/11 chaos filled the streets of New York and Washington as the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were hit. Even if you didn't live in those two states, your world was rocked on 9/11.

Who in their right mind would attack America and cause such devastation? Who would kill innocent lives just because? Why would someone want to cause another person hell? I don't understand why the terrorists chose to target America but I truly believe they were cowards. Cowards to take an innocent life. Cowards to cause tears to flow. Cowards who could care less who they hurt. The heroes who fought back amaze me, still, today.

It does not seem like 10 years have passed. The wounds are still very fresh and I will never forget 9/11/01.

Stream of Consciousness -- It's not an incurable disease

I have a beef to pick with some people but I'll just do it in five minutes.

I have life threatening food allergies and get the normal "what do you eat?" every few days. Sometimes I educate and other times I respond food. It gets old, though, when people think food allergies are an incurable disease or say "poor you" in the process.

Food Allergies are apart of me and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes I get jealous that I just can't grab a taco from a stand but a reaction is not worth the risk. I have to read every label at least twice. Sure making 90% of my food can be difficult, at times, but that's just the way I roll. Grocery shopping takes me more time, now, since I re-read every label and scan for allergens.

Imagine if you had to read every food label and stay clear from: soy (all forms), wheat, gluten, tree nuts, peanuts, fish, shellfish, & modified food starches. Would you know how to read a label and look out for allergens? Would you get used to label reading? YES but it takes time. Food allergies and cooking can be done. It just takes a little out of the box thinking and some creativity.

Here are some things I'd rather not hear come out of another person's mouth~

* "How do you live without wheat?" I just do!

* "I am so sorry for you" Why are you sorry? I am not bent out of shape about it.

* "I couldn't survive like you have" It's not really a choice. I just do it.

* "That's really unfortunate" It's not like I have an incurable disease. It's just food allergies.

* "Can't you just eat the food and then use your epi-pen?" No I can't and won't do something like that. Epi pen = a ride to the ER. Not happening if I can prevent it.

If you know someone with food allergies, think before you ask questions and know that your question may be the same one, for the third time, that day.

I am a human being with food allergies. I don't have a sign on my back that says food allergies. NOPE! Food Allergies do not rule my life; they are just a part of me.

SOC Sunday: Why animals are the best listeners

Good Sunday afternoon to you all. I don't know about you, but, for me, August has been ridiculously crazy. I am so ready for a new and fresh month. Maybe that's selfish of me but I'm just done with August. Anywho...I'll get to why animals are the best listeners.



We've always had dogs. They are a part of the family and are always close by. In my life, I've tried talking to some people and they have an opinion or a strategy to help me get over the bump in the road. They try to help, they do, but I tend to become more frustrated when I just want to vent and pour out my troubles.



In comes the dogs who, thankfully, can't speak like humans can. They listen and don't give their two cents about things. They comfort and just listen. They occasionally lick your hand or clean their paws but they are just there. They just listen. They don't grow wiry or you pouring out your heart. They give you, most of the time, their undivided attention.



They just "get it" and are some of the best listeners around.

Stream of consciousness Sunday

Good Sunday morning to you. I don't know about you but this darn heat needs to exit now. It's really hard to get up and look all nice and then walk outside and sweat. Hence why I don't wear make up much unless we go out for something fancy.

What's the point? I can look nice in a skirt and top with my hair done by me but after 5 minutes, all the makeup comes rolling off. It's not a pretty scene so I go without.

My sister not so much. She glams up wherever we go. Plus puts on spray that then unnerves us when we get in a tight space, car, to go somewhere. It's her choice, granted, but I have my routine down and don't plan on changing it now.

So tell me...do you glam up and then watch your makeup sweat off your face or do you forgo makeup all together in this heat?

Stream of Consciousness -- Can I just say

I haven't been in the nicest mood today. Maybe it was that 5AM wake up and I never went back to sleep. Maybe it was the tired, train wreck feeling by 3 today. Or perhaps it was the gosh darn heat by 1:00 that was at 100*. Maybe it was the yuck of another sinus infection. I have no clue what was ruffling my feathers but I totally think it was a combination of sorts.

Do you ever have one of THOSE days that you could totally fast forward or rewind? Do you want to?

Today, I feel like I could have done a few more things or less but I know, for sure, that my caffeine supply did zilch for me. Maybe that was the problem?

I could sit here thinking/pondering about what made the day blah or I could wake up in the morning and start a whole new day. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

Wake up tomorrow and live a whole new day!!

This post is written in the raw, unedited, and hosted by All.Things.Fadra. I participated in this "brain dump," of sorts, and enjoyed every minute of it.

Stream of Consciousness-waiting is hard

I've been told I am a patient person. That's great on the outside. But on the inside, I am worried. Worried that I won't get the job I'd like, worried I won't use my teaching degree; just worried. I am a worrier and a planner. These things don't always go together.

I know, by the end of the summer, that I will have some sort of job but I can't help but worry. I'm praying, asking for guidance, and hoping a position will open up for me. I am a bit jealous, truth be told, when my friends say they "love" their job. I went to school for four years, took 19 hours for four semesters, and graduated "on time" in four years. I want to teach!!

Waiting is just hard work! Pure, plain, and simple.

This post is written in the raw. It may have its flaws but I'm a-okay with that. Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by All things Fadra. Set the time for FIVE minutes, post in the raw, and don't spell check. Just dump out what's on your heart.

Stream of Consciousness-not Father's day for us

My dad's job often takes him to other countries and states. He works so hard and provides for our family well. But you know what...he's not even home for Father's day this year. He's in Germany for the second time this month. It's hard with him traveling so much this year.

Last week, before he left, he said "I haven't seen you for three nights. What've you been up to? Where have you been?" It's true, though, that I go to bed early and he was at business dinners some. But it's funny how we can live, sleep, and breathe in the same house but not see eachother for three nights. Granted, he's like 50 steps away from me, but that face-to-face interaction is still needed.

While my relationship with my dad has always been pretty good, I conside the face-to-face conversations the best with him. Plus they mean the world to him. {I can tell by the smile on his face.}

I participated in All things Fadra's Stream of Consciousness Sunday. This post is in the raw and unedited.

Stream of Consciousness

Today I am overwhelmed and unsure of what life will be like after graduation. I am hurt by a few people who said they were friends and then repeatedly stabbed me in the back over the fast few months. I got screwed. There, I said it. I will not apologize for nothing because I did nothing wrong. I don't appreciate some saying one thing and then doing the complete opposite.

I graduate in 27 days. GASP!! I have no clue what I will be doing or where I will be teaching. Texas' budget crisis sucks and is not a hopeful sight for fall job openings. I will take any job I can get. I'm not kidding with that. I love children and want to teach but if I have to sit in an office until this settles down I will. I am hopeful this does not happen.

I am in the midst of my MEGA-CAPSTONE project. For 5 extra points, it's due Tuesday at 4. It will be done then. I am tired of looking at it. :) It's not that it is hard. It is spending over 12 hours looking at the screen, completing what needs to go in it, creating in folder hyperlinks, and action buttons. All I have left is to write 5 reflections on my best pieces, create a powerpoint to showcase them, insert multiple, if not a hundred, hyperlinks/action buttons, and write a 2 page reflection. Easier when the first of the semester started...but I have a massive dose of senioritis.

Brain dump brought to you by All.things.Fadra!!

Stream of Consciousness: Normal...what's that?

Photo Credit

Normal is what you hear when you go to the doctor and your temperature is normal. Normal does not describe a person in the flesh. Normal is tossed around like any other word in the English language. Last night, I went to see Soul Surfer and it was totally amazing. I cried throughout the movie and it really hit home as no one is normal in any shape or form. In 2003, Bethany Hamilton was attacked by a tiger shark and lost her left arm. She currently has a professional surfing career and does not let the one arm slow her down.

Throughout the movie, Hamilton showed strength before and after the attack. One moment that really touched me was when Hamilton allowed others to feel comfortable in the water after a tsunami hit. That showed that the normal in her life differs from those around her. She used her knowledge of the surf board to gain a child’s trust and re-introduce him back into the water. Even after the attach, Hamilton got back in the water and competed in surfing.

The Hamilton family’s strength after the attack grew so much. In a conversation after the attack, Hamilton told her mother that she wanted to be normal. Apparently having her arm ripped off is not normal, you think? In the movie, the mother said that normal is totally overrated and it is.

So do I recommend this movie? YES, it is a must see!! It will blow your mind and has a good plot line!!

Normalcy varies between people. No one has the same normal feelings. Normal is relative to the person.

What is normal?

Stream of Consciousness

I've been a horrible blogger. It's so true. My last semester of my senior year, as an undergrad, has kept me on my toes and b-u-s-y. I say I will post more and I don't. I say I'll post pictures and I don't.

Truth be told, it's easier for me to tweet or use facebook than edit pictures and let the slow-load blogger upload them.

Several of my posts come from my notepad on my phone. It's quite easy for me to write them late at night and then just copy and paste them into my format. I admit that I would love a few extra hours in the day to blog all my time away too.

It's frustrating, for me, that I can't connect with all my blogging buddies. Yes school, work, and a senior class have taken away all my time but I don't like it one bit.

Let's not even discuss that Texas has a huge budget crisis and I may not have a job come the fall. Okay?!

Today's post was brought to you by Stream on Consciousness Sunday here.

Stream of Consciousness

Yesterday, my pastor died. He was only in his mid-fifties. This devastated me. He was a spiritual leader and was a friend. I looked up to him and he had counseled me in the past. Yesterday, he died of a complication of brain surgery where surgeons attempted to fix a brain bleed. Yesterday, I realized that life is precious. Yesterday, I thanked God again and again for my family and friends. Yesterday, I had a bad dream of my family dying too.

I realize that any life is precious. From the womb to adulthood, all life is precious. No one wants a family member to leave them early. No one wants to face death in its face. No one wants to mourn a loss of a loved one. Everyone just wants love and life. While talking to my mom, she reminded me that God has plans that we don't understand and it is difficult, at first, to deal with it. No one can really plan for an unexpected death. It just happens. I've heard the saying "we make plans; God laughs." While death is difficult to swallow, life will go on.

Life is precious!!

Stream of Consciousness

Where did the weekend go? I have not had a good, fun weekend in a while. It was nice to meet friends for lunch, go to a baby shower, talk about life, and be encouraged by a friend. Truth be told, I have been down lately. You see, Texas is cutting their education budget my millions. Teachers are being laid off and doom is around. I get tired of being told "oh you won't have a job" in the fall or "you know budgets are being cut" all week long. Thank you, people for the news flash but please stop shoving it down my throat. I get that it is bad but I am hearing it at school, from my homefront, and with friends. It gets exhausting and, kind of, drowning to hear it daily.

Don't get me wrong, I realize it is a BIG deal. BUT when your superintendent, principal, teacher, and teachers around you talk about it daily, it gets old. I realize there will be competition and doom, but please remember that we are all human and we do get overwhelmed with a lot of bad information.

On Saturday night, I watched Fireproof and Facing the Giants. They were both on television. I had never seen Fireproof before and was glad I watched it. I ended up having a good cry, for both movies, and was really encouraged by a friend. It was something I needed and had success with. Debi truly rocks my world and we "watched" Facing the Giants together via twitter comments. It was like she was right there holding my hand and crying with me. It was much needed.

Stream of Consciousness

Today I need to get my thoughts out. I am really not worried if I offend anyone (but I am) because these are my thoughts and worries. So here I go...

* The fraud autism researcher, who claimed that Autism had a relation with a vaccine, is just bogus. He caused it amongst himself to get the criticism and critiques when he chose to publish fraudulent materials. He's lucky that he only lost his medical license.

* There is no proof, aka published research/proven studies, that states vaccines cause Autism. Sorry to break it to you but there's none. Parents choose how they want to vaccinate and their children will then be protected or not. I have a personal tie to Autism and can tell you it is heartbreaking to see kids suffer. This is one reason why I chose to go into Special Education. You can tell me until you are blue in the fact that Autism is triggered or caused by vaccines but that's not proven truth.

* GF/CF diet-there's not proof that it is the key that unlocks the door. It works miracles, I've seen, for some and does diddly for others.

* We can all disagree on a various number of topics and subjects but please respect each other. It's not nice to push feelings down some one's throat. It just is not. I try to be nice but after the fifth or sixth time of me telling you I get it...it gets old.

Have a great afternoon