Struggling

I will have to admit that I am struggling with several issues right now. 

Job situations, unanswered questions, anxiety, my sister moving to Boston, and the fears I face. 

I am trying to put on a happy face and be happy but that deep pain in hard to overcome. 

It comes in waves. Waves that I can't control and that's really hard for me. Hard to understand how this all fits into a "master plan" that I have no control over. 

I am working on it daily but it is just hard. Hard to stay positive and upbeat when I don't understand. Hard to comprehend why I am not getting something I've worked really hard for. 

Right now, all I can do is talk it out, continue to seek out opportunities, and pray. Whether or not you are a praying person, I ask for good thoughts and prayers. 

My happy face is on but I am not completely happy. I want that back so bad. I want to be happy. 

I wish life had a manual. That would make it easier, right?

Life is just hard right now & I am struggling. 

Open & honest about weight

This post has been written and deleted several times as weight struggles have been up and down for some time now. I have always been a tall girl, truth be told, but my weight seems to always haunt me where ever I go. I am not obese but do not wear shirts that show the bulges and rolls and truth. I tend to wear a size bigger to not show my weight since I don't like things sticking to me. I can hide my weight the best I can and just melt inside. I have (and am currently) tried a diet and exercise but it ain't cuttin' it right now.

I don't know if it is the fact that I am out of balance with what I eat or am not balancing at all. But I would love to be able to loose weight and finally keep it off. I have done the Shred completely three times now and even though some parts are toned; my midsection is not. I have contemplated ordering another workout program to try but then I am wondering what the use is?!

I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to be able to loose weight and keep it off. I admit that I will never be a size zero and I am perfectly dandy with that. But I would like to wear something and actually look good in it.

Weight has always been a constant battle for me and I am fully aware of that. But I am just ready to see some progress and actually feel good beneath the clothes I wear.

Young athlete overcomes extreme allergies

Kendall Hollinger looks like a normal 13 year old skater but in reality she is allergic to most foods and residue she comes into contact with and is fed her nutrition through a g-tube placed in her stomach. This is a wonderful story about a girl who lives with allergens every single day of her life and does not let reactions slow her down. Want to see and inspirational story in just four minutes, then click here!

Friends don't always stick around

This past week has been FULL of life lessons and multiple meeting times with one of my dearest advisers here in Collegetown. I have learned that people mature over their years in college and through life and some people or so-called friends don't want to stay in a friendship for the long run. Now I have witnessed several people mature over the past few years and I am proud to call them my friends.

But the people who drag you down and dwell in their own self-pity with out seeing that others care for them has been on my heart lately. Sure everyone goes through rough times but after time and time again of reaching out...sometimes you have to let go. Sure that door will be open if anyone wants to regain friendship...but I am moving on. Honestly...I will be anyone's friend...but I am learning that sometimes it takes people longer to mature.

But they are not holding me back or taking me down with them!

Struggling with MY FAITH

For about a month, I have been struggling. I am finally ready to let you know why. About two months ago, I had to quit my Sunday job at a church. I believe that I lost a piece of my heart then. Yes I had to because of my 19 course hours, but it has been tough. Each Sunday, I would talk and get my feelings/concerns out in the open and get advice. I have struggled to find a good church to attend from then on, I have struggled because I miss my home church, and I have just been struggling with my faith. I am working on it and trying to get back on the "bandwagon," but it has just been a hurdle. There are so many questions that can not be answered and I am trying to understand and grasp that HE has a reason/plan for everyone. I do believe that God's plan for me is to teach/work with SPED, but getting through the hurdles of life is the tough part.

All I am asking from you is that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I face my FAITH hurdles face on. I have never ever been told life is easy and I do not expect that. I expect and hope to follow HIS plan for me. I do know that IT WILL GET BETTER, but right now I am in the middle of it and struggling. I want it to get better, but I do believe that this issue may take TIME. I may not like it, but that is my life and situation right now. My ultimate goal is to Follow HIM through thick and thin and that is what I am going for. I remind myself of the quote "Never, never, never give up" and I keep telling myself that over and over again. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers in advance. They truly make my day special!
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On a lighter note, remember to wear green today!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

It's the CHRISTmas season...

It is so easy to forget what CHRISTmas is truly about with all the hustle and bustle to prepare that perfect night and day the media raves about. What person does not want that money or toys? But remember our Savior, Jesus Christ who died for our sins, and who was born in a manger on Christmas. Some may say that HE was not born on Christmas or HE is not real...but this is not what I am talking about. I am talking about worshipping HIM who was born in a manger on that cold eve. I am talking about Mary, his earthly mother birthing the son of God, I am talking about the three Wise Men who followed the Star to the manger. Jesus did not choose where HE was born nor did HE choose his earthly parents...GOD, our Heavenly Father chose Mary and Joseph as HIS worldly parents. HE (GOD) chose those three wise men for a reason and HE (GOD) chose life of JESUS.

GOD chose you and me to be born on this earth and I am truly thankful. I am very thankful for JESUS and all that HE did for me. REMEMBER CHRIST during the CHRISTmas this year. Wishing you and your family a very Merry CHRISTmas season and holiday. Enjoy your preparations for the day of CHRIST and enjoy your sweet family and friends. HE will see you through! Merry Christmas to YOU!!!!

Just one of those days...

Today has totally been one of those days. When something does not go correctly and everything else tumbles. This morning was fine until something scurried across my floor and scared me at 6am. Then the little girl that I babysit got sick and I got to hold her for a long time. Then my weight and circuit workout was intense and I had issues with my last class for the day. But something has gotten me through! These verses put my life in perspective and I thought I would share:

** Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."

** Proverbs 22:4: "The reward of humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, honor and life."

** Romans 12:2: "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Life is full of hurdles, triumphs, and struggles, but it is the way you deal with them that counts.

Enjoy the things that count!!!!

By the GRACE of God...

Let's review, today I am exhausted. Last night and yesterday, I was super exhausted. Mid terms are coming up and are lasting for the next two weeks. Life is busy!!! Homecoming is this weekend. I am a student who works daily and has to be at school at 7:20 on Saturday. HOMEWORK is NEVER ending!!! I am tired all the time. But something has gotten me through!

By the GRACE of GOD and his strength through me, life is still going on and I am not just sitting here asleep on the computer. By the GRACE of God, I am able to function and endure through trials and joys! God does indeed have a plan for me and even though today and tomorrow could be tough, the ultimate goal is unreal and amazing to me. I know HE is right by me and through me all the time! I may not understand everything, but HE will lead me!!!

Psalm 84:11 states: "For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly."

Everyone has days that they just want to get through. There are times everyone is tried and stressed. As well as times of triumph. Actively live through each moment. Yes the road ahead may be difficult, but thee who follow HIM will prevail.

Prevail over the trials!!!!