Struggling

I will have to admit that I am struggling with several issues right now. 

Job situations, unanswered questions, anxiety, my sister moving to Boston, and the fears I face. 

I am trying to put on a happy face and be happy but that deep pain in hard to overcome. 

It comes in waves. Waves that I can't control and that's really hard for me. Hard to understand how this all fits into a "master plan" that I have no control over. 

I am working on it daily but it is just hard. Hard to stay positive and upbeat when I don't understand. Hard to comprehend why I am not getting something I've worked really hard for. 

Right now, all I can do is talk it out, continue to seek out opportunities, and pray. Whether or not you are a praying person, I ask for good thoughts and prayers. 

My happy face is on but I am not completely happy. I want that back so bad. I want to be happy. 

I wish life had a manual. That would make it easier, right?

Life is just hard right now & I am struggling.