Torn with frustration

Today has just not been a good day. One professor told me that my homemade book was a "good try but then to look at my friend's and how perfect it was." Then today I was slammed with another comment that I am not sure how to take. So I am telling you and still processing it.

After my exam, for another class, my disabilities coordinator told me that my professor suggested that I take my tests in his class instead of a separate room. I have a semi-college IEP that allows me to have accommodations in time and place where I take my test. I talk to myself and would be a distraction to others. I told my disabilities person that it would not go over well since I would be a distraction to others and would make my test grade would be not too hot. I was told, by my disabilities coordinator, to tell my professor that. I mention that I study all.the.time and my grades show that. He commented that my professor had said something about my high grades to him.

I am torn since I study like a crazy person. I do not cheat yet study on a daily basis. My grades are high because I try my best and give 100% most of the time. My grades are high because I am a perfectionist. My grades are HIGH because I try my hardest.

I am upset that the professor thinks my grades are suspicious. I may have Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and a other issues-but does that mean I can't get high grades? I am just torn on what to think.

I am torn and just don't like it!!

Apparently I give a hoot

I had every intention in posting a happy and loving post but that will have to wait for another day. I have hit several walls this summer and have been stabbed in the back more than once. Apparently I give a hoot, unlike a few others, about decisions that affect me and my future. Tonight, at almost 10pm, I was emailed and told I was not needed on a committee. This is something I really wanted. This is something that I could be on and voice my concerns.

If this were my first time not being picked, I would understand. But this is the third or fourth time this summer someone has made a decision for me that impacts my future. I honestly do not know why I try so hard and get my hopes up to be let down. I, apparently, give a hoot about my future and who I impact along the way!

I am upset, angry, and frustrated that this decision was made at the cost of me. I am angry that I was not picked for this committee. I am frustrated that I received this news at nearly 10pm on Friday night. Who does this? Apparently, the committee head. Not professional or courteous at all. I will be following up with this person and letting him know that I would have appreciated until after the weekend or in a letter format. Almost 10pm on a Friday night is not my kind of let down, tyvm. A letter would have been more appropriate! I would have loved to have been told next week so it would not have ruined my weekend!

I will try to not let this get me down but it is difficult because one, I have trouble accepting & letting things go, and two because a change, that I could have brought up, in how the “big picture” of things was looked at needed to happen.

I guess I care too much

I have to say Tuesday was dandy but the evening (after 8pm) was not.

I received a very rude comment/email from a blogger via email and I have no idea who they are.

I guess I care too much and the tears are flowing.

I normally do not get this upset but words do hurt!

I was extremely frustrated with my school newspaper on Tuesday night and I was not expecting the MEAN and CRUEL email that I received after the newspaper ordeal.

I am a little taken back at how someone could judge me and not even know "me"! I try to do my best life but I do not appreciate rude and uncalled for emails.

I am looking up and not down but do not appreciate rude emails from people who do not know me!

Broken and Shattered

As you may already figured out, my email was hacked into Wednesday and has totally shattered my week. I am ANGRY and UPSET that someone would invade my personal email and do such a thing. The new problem is that they changed my security passwords so I can not even get into my email to get my contact list and shut it down. I am ANGRY that someone would do this. Plus the emails that some have been receiving are just plain strange and exp li cit(there are spaces so this does not show up as a search). I am ANGRY that people can see everything that is on my email. I had bank information, school information, pictures, documents, and most importantly...all of your email addresses on it.

SO if you would be so kind to click on the e-mail button on my complete profile page and e-mail me your e-mails...I would be very appreciative.

I have talked to several IT guys now and have come up with a few tips help you if this were to ever happen. I hope this never ever happens to you!

** Save your email addresses on your personal computer as well. Plus...a hard copy of them (say from a printout) is always helpful. I did not have a hard copy therefore I have to get them all again.

** If your email does get taken over, contact the company that is associated to your email immediately. You see...the hackers changed my security passwords as well so I still am trying to get this all sorted out.

** Put all of your troubles in writing. This covers the bases just in case.

** Change your passwords often. Sure it is convenient to be "remembered" on your computer, but changing them often helps cover you in case someone gets your password.

** If there was/is valuable information on your computer (say from the bank) and email gets hacked, contact the bank immediately and change those passwords as well.

** Expect phone calls. On Wednesday alone, I received 30+ phones calls and Thursday was the same. My poor parents have also received numerous calls as well.

One thing to remember is that if you are signed up to receive anything by an email, you will have to go back and put your new email in. SO for twitter, facebook, and all the sites that you get updates/ads/emails from...ALL of those have to be updated. I have to tell you in is a MAJOR pain and is just darn right frustrating!!!

Please excuse the lack of posts this week/weekend as I am still trying to work on damage control and coming to face the fact that this happened. For this reason, I have not wanted to turn on my computer that much. I feel violated and frustrated that someone so mean was able to turn my entire life upside down in a matter of moments. I am angry and frustrated and it will take me time to get back into the swing of things. So please bare with me if I do not post as much right now. I will eventually be back in the swing of things soon. Thank you for understanding!

Note to self...and anyone who will read it :)

REMEMBER Not to get upset or frustrated before bed. If you do, you could have a side effect of insomnia! Please try to not get frustrated/upset at least an hour before bed, since you are now facing the consequences!!! [of the wireless Internet troubles]

So to recap, try to relax and get some sleep during the night! DO NOT GET mad/frustrated an hour before bed!

Now this is a new rule in my life :)