A relationship strained with my sister

My sister and I do not have a perfect relationship. However, we do get along when there are more than 1000 miles separating us. When I went to college, our relationship got better. Summers were still difficult but it got better. Then, she went to college and I eventually graduated. Still, we had hundreds of miles in between us and we were okay. We are both type-A and pretty independent people. We have our faults, of course, but we have good relationships outside of the family. 

Then, we were home for an extended summer and things got very unsettling. I, along with our family, walk on egg shells around her some of the time. 

I don't claim to be perfect but she also goes for the jugular each, and every, time. Tonight was no different. I don't have as thick of skin and I let her get to me. She got to me and I spent the next three hours out of the house. 

Right now, our relationship is at an all time low. I try, really hard, to not let her get to me but she truly gets under my skin and plucks every nerve. However, she does this every day. She can be all cheery to other people and then I get the brunt of it. I don't do well when voices are raised and I am verbally attacked with curse words. I just don't.

She goes off to law school in less than 3 weeks and I am hoping our relationship gets better. I hope that we can grow it back to a civilized relationship. I hope she will see that words and actions hurt. I hope I can grow thicker skin. 

I hope our strained relationship becomes a relationship in progress. 

TOXIC relationships

My plans have been to blog more often than not but then January rolled around, I got stabbed in the back, and all heck broke loose. People that I thought were my co-workers and friends stabbed me in the back and caused my job to take a fall. It really took me hard and I am having difficulty trusting who I work with now. I will not go into specifics but my work relationships have suffered due to the people I thought I could trust and they turned around and talked bad about me.

This, in theory, would be called a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship can present in various forms and it is hard to understand why people turn on other people. But, I have learned a hard lesson from this. You can't trust someone fully until you know them and are able to read their actions toward and for you. My dad said that I can "never trust anyone" but I am curious how I could talk to anyone without it coming back to bite me. He said that I have to read and observe before trusting.

That is very hard for me as I am a teacher and a fixer. I don't like seeing people in pain or in wrong. However, in order for me to move forward, I can't fix the world.

Moving forward, for my job, would mean getting out of my present school and starting fresh next year. To do that, I need the recommendation for a position next year. So, I am sticking it out, keeping to myself, and just doing my job the best I know how.

It's not my ideal mindset but it's something I have to do in order to succeed in my current area.

She's got my back

Throughout my sister's and my college experience, we are around 6 hours apart from each other in driving time. I don't know what it is but our relationship has flourished and grown since we are so far away from each other and apart for long periods of time. I have learned, over this semester, that my sister and I are different, in many ways, but she is always in my corner and ready to give me advice on how to deal with situations and issues. I really appreciate her.

Lately, I have called her more than twice a week just to vent and get advice. She is a really good advice giver and knows how to not get all emotional in confrontations. She is good at talking me through issues and making me see both sides of various situations.

We may have fought like cats and dogs over the last few years, pre-college, but I truly believe we are growing closer every mile apart. Not trying to sound cheesy but she and I are just so much alike and different that we drive each other bonkers.

People told me, before college, that my relationship with my sister would probably get better in college and I, now, totally agree.

It's nice to know she's got my back!!