WARNING: This post is LONG!!!! You have been warned!!!!
I don't know/remember how much I have said about my high school years, but memories came flooding back over the last few days. Painful memories. You see, all throughout my school days, I have been teased. In elementary, middle, and high school. High school was by far the worst as the kids, boys especially, upped the anti and were just plain cruel and mean.
In ninth grade, it started with the girls who were HORRIBLE and so stinkin' mean. I was called horrible names for no reason at all, rumors were spread, and my self esteem plummeted. It was a hellacious first semester but the second semester was not as bad. I had a group who was on my side. Mostly teachers, but I learned some valuable lessons during my second semester.
In tenth grade, there was a boy who made my life a living HELL for the remainder of my high school year. You see, this boy's father was on the Board of Directors at my Christian school and he got away with EVERYTHING. His dad and the principle and the head of the school all went hunting together. He got away with teasing me, taunting me, calling me names, and giving me HELL for the remainder of the school year. I did have several friends, but I was A's main target all the time. I learned that being a part of the football team (manager/trainer/water girl) gave me some strength, but those hurtful words were HORRIBLE. During class, at lunch, and all throughout school...he picked on ME. Many tears were shed this year as he humiliated me, caused me pain, and hurt me emotionally. Angered filled inside of me!
In eleventh grade, A and I were not in the same classes together all the time, but he still caused me hell. There was a "cheating scandal" during my junior year and A caused me a whole bunch of pain during this. The pointing fingers, naming calling, and nightmare was shown. Eleventh grade was not near as bad as the summer before my senior year.
Summer before my senior year: I got this anonymous phone call that was sexually explicit and horrifically inappropriate. My family and I had to call the police, get it traced, and it came from him. The police visited A's home and had a long talk with him. Before my senior year, A came to my home and met with my parents and I. My parents laid down the law and said that they wanted me to have a good year that year.
Senior year: A left me alone some of the time, but still gave me hell sometimes. One day I was called into the principles office and A was there. He accused me of something I had not done. The principle told me that there were no witnesses but I needed to prove where I was during the supposed "incident," so I was in College English with 20 witnesses...he was caught in a LIE. HA! It was one of the happiest days of my life.
Then one of the worst times came. The head of the school was notified by my parents that A was resistant and would not leave me alone. He threw the fact that the Bible tells us to forgive in my face and told me I needed to forgive A for his misdeeds. Um...I said I could not, but would work on it. I got this speech about how it was right to forgive and the Christian thing to do. You have got to be kidding me! I was asked if I was going to forgive and I said it would take a while, said I wanted to leave, and called my mom in tears. Let's just say the administration heard what my momma and dad had to say after this incident.
I went through HELL with A and because his father was on the Board, he was protected. What about me?! What about the people who were bullied? My HS years were not easy, but I learned several life lessons. Have I forgiven A completely? NO...It may take a while, but I am working past it. I am trying to let go. It is not easy to forget these painful memories.
Life lessons learned
** There are bullies everywhere! I have had no problem in college since I have learned to stand up for myself and not take the crud I took in high school.
** Not everyone has a backbone and it does take some people longer to get one.
** My family will always support me...through THICK & THIN!!!!
** Memories last a lifetime...even the painful ones!!
** Being bullied has allowed me to help others and provide advice!
So high school was TOUGH and I have those painful memories, but I am now taking one day at a time and trying to forget those hellacious years. High school may not have been the best, but I am trying my best in college and making memorable memories that I want to remember!!!!